Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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