So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize