I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I could fuck to npr.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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