can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
