i barfeds in our rink
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
