My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
