Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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