Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
