Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
