New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
