Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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