Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize