Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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