Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
