Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
