whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
