Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
