just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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