may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize