this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
