really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
