Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
