can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dicks are not precious.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
