Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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