the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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