lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
