she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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