i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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