im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
