Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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