I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
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