Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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