Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
