three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
