11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
