i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
