you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my phone needs a breathalizer
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize