I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
