Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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