I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
