dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
