I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
