The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
