she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
