Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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