just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
