the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
