think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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