You smell like a Billy Joel song
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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