Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
please come you make the beer taste better
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
