The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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