I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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