i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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