my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
