i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
