I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
