This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
