Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
