Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
