In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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