I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
