I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize