I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
