he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
