I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
